


Just One Day

by edenn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Acephobia, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Nonbinary Character, Stray Kids OT8, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, toxic family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23035165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenn/pseuds/edenn
Summary: "Just one day.. It's all I'm asking for. I just want to feel like me."Jisung just wants the world - his family - to be as happy as he is with discovering and realizing who he is, but of course, it never goes the right way.Unless..?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Everyone
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	Just One Day

**Author's Note:**

> TW i guess? some of the transphobic/acephobic remarks in this fic are things i have actually heard (and if you have, then i'm really sorry) but the transphobia/acephobia doesn't go any further than a couple remarks.

_"Just one day.. It's all I'm asking for. I just want to feel like me."_

Jisung wakes up to the sun shining right in his face, as he recalls forgetting to shut the blinds before going to bed. First thing he does after washing his face is to run his hand through his hair while looking in the bathroom mirror, feeling satisfied. He likes what he see, and that sets him in a good mood to face his family. Turning to the pile of clothes on his chair, he picks the less larger sweater he finds. But first, and with excitment, he puts his first binder on. The feeling of compression is easily bareable for the highly satisfying reflection he sees. Not having to bare with this discomfort feels like a weight has been finally lifted from his shoulders - which is ironically true regarding the size of it. He feels so happy to finally physically feel like himself that he wants to show the whole world. So he decides to take a picture and post it on social media, mainly for his friends to see.

After he has finished getting ready, he stops for a second. His short hair might be enough of a surprise for his family so maybe he should take it off? He shouldn't go all out on the first time, should he? As happy as he had felt a second ago, Jisung finally decides to change the binder for a sport bra and a larger sweatshirt. _"It'll be fine."_ he thinks, walking to the train station.

Jisung loves his family, he knows they only want what's best for him, but he also knows what are their stance on certain topics - if not all. And that's why he prefers to play it safe and slow today, because deep down he hopes he doesn't know his family so well. His mother had an abortion, she must therefore be open-minded, right? His father and brother are in the military but they both endured Jisung's weird anime phase back in middle school, so it should be fine with this, right? His grandparents always supported him, so it wouldn't be hard for them to accept this as well, right? Jisung can't help but worry. And to see that some people online believe it's a choice.. Who would choose constant worry and fear of not being accepted for who you are?

He is welcomed by his grandparents, and a nice compliment about his hair that suits him better even though "It's still very short, guys might not be into it.". But Jisung chooses to focus on the positive, so he lets the remark pass this time.

After he finished greeting everyone, he remembers the selfie he has posted and checks the reaction to it. Without any surprise, his friends have all reacted positively, leaving comments full of love and support. But among the pool of love, he singles out his brother's reaction - who hasn't showed up at the family dinner yet - and it swallows the other positive comments and destroys the confidence he had today. "You were super cute before but now.. you just look like one of those old fat disgusting dyed-hair SJW feminists who protest screaming "white male privilege", and that makes me throw up" and to that, he doesn't know what to say, or how to react. He should defend himself, explain why this is offensive and disrespectful, but right now he feels powerless, defenseless, and he just wants to go home. He has to hold on for at least two or three more hours before he can leave without being too rude, so he swallows his pain, puts it aside for later and his phone back in his pocket.

The dinner goes surprisingly well, Jisung is delighted to see no one seems to care about his hair that much. Then, as his grandma brings the desserts to the table, she asks The question.

"So, how is it going with the boys?" and the attention is entirely on him, he has to be careful now.

"Oh, it's..cool I guess?"

"Is there a boy?", inquires his grandfather, followed by his brother bringing him down.

"Pff, they won't stay long now she's cut her hair."

Jisung tries his best to shoot him a glowering look, "Ah, no there isn't.."

"C'mon, there's really no boy?"

"Not in sight, and I actually don't want any.." he starts to sweat a bit, very nervous to see their reactions now that he finally said it.

His mother is the first one to react, in an attempt to change topic. "It'll pass, don't worry! You're just very focused on your studies right now, that's understandable. I met your father in school too! Let's not pressure her, she'll start looking for one soon enough." She claps her hands together and take the first plate. "Seunghyun, what cake do you want?

Jisung smiles slightly, trying not to attract any more attention to him, hoping the cake will keep Seunghyun's - his brother - mouth shut for a while.

After enduring a few more hours of nothing but rambling and boring life stories, Jisung decides to go home so he pretends he need to study a bit more for the upcoming exam he totally made up. As he dramatically looks through the window of the train with his headphones blasting melancholic songs, he notices how exhausted he is and how small he feels, especially around his family (no jokes about his height intended). This might just be him getting too worked up after being so stressed and nervous, though, so he shrugs it off.

Once he comes home, he doesn't even have the strenght nor the will to put on his binder to feel better, he just falls on his bed face first before curling up in a ball. Right now, he just wants to sleep and forget the dinner. But it's not without his wonderful bestfriend Hyunjin, who comes in to share Kkami's latest success and lift Jisung's mood as it's clear to see he's down.

"Hey Jisung, why not doing something with the others tonight? Like a..sleepover? Yeah, let's do a sleepover!"

"Heh, why not.." he tries to sound excited, but he really just wants to be left alone right now and completely ignore his feelings by scrolling on Tiktok for hours on end.

"Can you take KKami out on a walk for me while I pick them up? I won't be long I promise."

It may sound like a question, but they both know it's not and actually just a way to lift Jisung's mood up, which he isn't against. And as Hyunjin has promised, he makes sure to be quick because while the positive energy naturally exuded by a dog is great, a dog still can't talk and thus stop Jisung from going back to his thoughts.

"So, how does our Highness want their pasta to be cooked?" Chan immediately starts joking, only half-serious.

"Or maybe you'd like some kangaroo! I know how to cook that." Minho teases, sneaking up on the eldest.

"He's lying, last time he almost cried when Dongie brought a dead mouse home," replies Changbin while kneeling to pet Hyunjin's dog.

"Jisung, have I told you already that I don't have my braces anymore?" the youngest hops to him with a bright, braces-less smile. "Because I think you should really know that I don't have my braces anymore and that's great news because I don't have my br-"

He is thankfully cut off by Seugnmin who starts chasing and tickling him after commenting again on how pretty Jisung looks with short hair.

"Jisungie~ Let's eat brekkie together~"

A deep voice whispers in Jisung's ear, sending tingles up to his brain - though he'll never admit it - and sparking giggles.

"Felix!" He turns around to hug him tight, half revengeful half affectionate. "It's too late for breakfast now anyway."

"Oh Really? Tell me at what hour does a stomach closes then? It's always time to eat!"

His sentence is followed by exclamations of agreement, and the seven overly excited youngsters, after debating for ten minutes, finally settle for making pasta.

Two hours later, once everyone is full, teeth brushed and getting sleepy in the warmth of a shared blanket for most, the lights are finally turned off. In the darkness of the room, Jisung smiles to himself. He realizes once more how lucky he is to have such caring friends, and swears to himself he'll do everything in his power for them. Breaking the silence, Hyunjin whispers to Jisung he knows still not asleep.

"You know, Chan hyung asked me something."

"Hm..what?"

"To thank you."

"Eh? Why? For what?"

"Coming out to us. He said you were very brave to do it, and that you should never be ashamed of knowing who you are."

This day, Jisung may have realized once again his family wasn't good for him, but he also realized it didn't matter that much anymore now that he had found seven loving brothers, and that they were all sleeping with him. This night, Jisung fell asleep to the reassuring sound of his friends' relaxed breathings, cheeks and pillow wet from tears but his heart warm and soft inside his soon- to-be flat chest.

**Author's Note:**

> I've finally wrote more than 900 words! Anyway, this took me like two hours and a half to write but it was definitely nice to write something long and more in depths.  
> The inspiration came from BTS' song (you guessed it) I was playing on osu! and the fact I ordered my first binder today.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, feel free to leave a comment with your Kudo :)


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